when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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