Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
