walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize