I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
