Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
