I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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