we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
