hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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