We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
