You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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