Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
