I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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