she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Green mimosas i think yes
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
