you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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