I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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