So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
