Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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