Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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