I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We got so high we made milksteak
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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