well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
