so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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