I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize