And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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