well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
