I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
FUCK WHALES
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize