You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize