my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
