You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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