He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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