my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
