Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
