Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
