puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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