told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
