I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she told me i tasted like america
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
