He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
