i don't like sucking hair
Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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