oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
