my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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