the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I enjoy the company of your penis
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