No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
