i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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