Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
