ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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