It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
