I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
