I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
