I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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