I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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