is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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