i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
