she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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