I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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