Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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