Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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