I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
