Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
