Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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