fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My bed smells like the plague
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
