FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
