That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
