He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize