Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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