Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
