Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
