??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
