these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
